When Pope Boniface IV consecrated the Pantheon at Rome, laying the foundation for All Saints Day, he probably never thought it’s eve would be an excuse for children to demand candy from total strangers, just because they (the kids, not the strangers) dressed up like Optimus Prime. Nor could Boniface predicted that celebrating the festival of All Saints would, hundreds of years later, lead to some guy getting his house TP’ed. Yet, here we are.

To make matters worse, year after year, DJs play the same, tired, crappy Halloween music, likely because a DJ’s life is filled with hatred and bile, and Halloween’s a good excuse to take his frustrations out on his listeners.

Thanks a lot, Halloween. Jerk.

Top 5 tired Halloween songs

1. “Monster Mash,” Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers
Every year. Every goddamn year.

2. “Thriller,” Michael Jackson
The song is cool and the video is brilliant. But still, man, can we give it a rest?

3. “Ghostbusters,” Ray Parker Jr.
Who am I going to call? Really, that’s none of your business.

4. “Addams Family (Main Title),” Victor Mizzy
“They’re all together ooky”?! What does that even mean?

5. “Werewolves of London,” Warren Zevon
This song is one of the most repetitive in terms of both lyrics and that stupid piano hook. Zevon, I’m sure you were a nice guy and all, but I kinda want to hit you in the face for this.

What song makes you want to spit in the face of a trick-or-treater?

Crap-o-ween