Alarm goes off. You look around. Birds are singing, the sun is shining through the remainder of the autumn leaves. Looks like it’s going to be a great morning. And then you remember – something was going on the night before. What was it?
It wasn’t like that night three years ago in Tijuana that involved swallowing the tequila worm and the resulting three hours of hallucinatory debauchery, culminating in you purchasing a cock-fighting franchise.
No, this is different. Despite it being a beautiful Fall day, and though there’s no male prostitute named Pedro passed out in the shower (this time, thank God), things seem more ominous.
Then you remember: Yesterday was election day.
Oh, what terrible things befell the American public by its own hand? Shaking, you turn on the TV just in time to see the cheery, slightly bulbous form of Willard Scott give way to the local news, where a reporter informs you that Proposition 23, which amends the state constitution to allow the eating of kittens wrapped in a burned American flag, while at the same time banning marriage, hugs, high fives and eye contact between members of the same gender, passed 87% to 2%. Noooooo!
It’s going to be a long day.
Top 5 songs for the aftermath of a soul-crushing political defeat
1. “American Tune,” Paul Simon
“American Tune” was written in the wake of the reelection of Richard Nixon in 1972, though this could have easily been written in the wake of the reelection of George W. Bush in 2004. That’s politics for ya.
2. “I’m So Bored With The U.S.A.,” The Clash
You know what? Constitutional democracy was so 18th Century.
3. “Oil Man’s War,” Kathleen Edwards
I’m moving to Canada! No, I really mean it this time! Canadian singer-songwriter Kathleen Edwards said she’d give me a lift.
4. “Days Like This,” Van Morrison
OK, relax, mellow out, man. Your mama told you there’d be days like this, and the soulful feeling of this song will make it a little easier to swallow.
5. “Walk On,” U2
Don’t give up. Keep on trying, though it’s hard, though it might be the last thing you feel like doing. Walk on …
Top 5 songs for the aftermath of a soul-crushing political defeat
