“From The Producers of Planet Earth”
Good song for Stryper or Petra
Stryper
Song title idea of the day
Written by John on October 29th, 2009
Follow theFiver on Twitter
Written by John on October 29th, 2009The Internets. Such an amazing series of tubes. Well, theFiver is all about social media, sort of, and to prove it, you can now follow us on Twitter! Click here to make it happen.
Top 5 tired Halloween songs
Written by John on October 29th, 2009
When Pope Boniface IV consecrated the Pantheon at Rome, laying the foundation for All Saints Day, he probably never thought it’s eve would be an excuse for children to demand candy from total strangers, just because they (the kids, not the strangers) dressed up like Optimus Prime. Nor could Boniface predicted that celebrating the festival of All Saints would, hundreds of years later, lead to some guy getting his house TP’ed. Yet, here we are.
To make matters worse, year after year, DJs play the same, tired, crappy Halloween music, likely because a DJ’s life is filled with hatred and bile, and Halloween’s a good excuse to take his frustrations out on his listeners.
Thanks a lot, Halloween. Jerk.
Top 5 tired Halloween songs
1. “Monster Mash,” Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers
Every year. Every goddamn year.
2. “Thriller,” Michael Jackson
The song is cool and the video is brilliant. But still, man, can we give it a rest?
3. “Ghostbusters,” Ray Parker Jr.
Who am I going to call? Really, that’s none of your business.
4. “Addams Family (Main Title),” Victor Mizzy
“They’re all together ooky”?! What does that even mean?
5. “Werewolves of London,” Warren Zevon
This song is one of the most repetitive in terms of both lyrics and that stupid piano hook. Zevon, I’m sure you were a nice guy and all, but I kinda want to hit you in the face for this.
What song makes you want to spit in the face of a trick-or-treater?
Song title idea of the day
Written by John on October 28th, 2009“Killing The Zombie Flanders … Softly”
Top 5 songs that turn walking into swaggering
Written by John on October 27th, 2009
© theFiver
With the mean temperature hovering between 50º and 60º F (apologies to our Canadian readers – I don’t know how that translates to Celsius – let’s just say between -12º and 4,352º), it’s great weather to get outside and walk. I actually prefer walking to any other exercise – it’s almost like jogging, except you look happier doing it. But every once in a while, a song will come on the Ye Olde iPodde Shuffle that turns a sunny stroll into a swagger of gangsta-like proportions.
1. “Mama Said Knock You Out,” LL Cool J
As soon as I hear “Don’t call it a comeback!” I have to restrain myself from air-boxing.
2. “No Sleep Till Brooklyn,” Beastie Boys
I could actually walk to Brooklyn when this comes on.
3. “Lose Yourself,” Eminem
The least-offesnsive tune by Eminem, yet, I’ll always do that weird head-bob thing when I hear it.
4. “Mind On The Road,” Rev. Run
Rev. Run’s solo work recalls his early days with Run DMC that saw raw hip-hop infused with metal licks, thanks to producer of Rick Rubin. And dang, Run. Thanks to you, my mind is very much on the road.
5. “Stomp,” George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
If this song doesn’t make you want to start dancing down the road, then you’re no friend of mine.
What turns your walk into a supergroovalisticexercisexplosion?
Unconscious Morrissey booed
Written by John on October 26th, 2009
Image from the official Morrissey website
Morrissey has been released from the hospital after collapsing one song into a set in Swindon, England. According to published reports, the former Smiths singer fell to his knees during the opening song, “This Charming Man.”
Rolling Stone reports that “A spokesperson for the Great Western Hospital, where Morrissey was admitted … said in a statement, ‘Morrissey became unwell last night. He was admitted overnight as a precautionary measure. He was seen this morning and was much improved and has now been discharged.’”
The Telegraph reports that Morrissey was said to be unconscious. After his collapse, ”two band members rushed to his side and dragged him offstage. He was immediately followed by his backing band and singers and the stage lights went up, to whistles and boos from the audience.”
The story continued: “Eyewitness Mark Taylor, 40, said: ‘The stage went dark and he was taken off the stage and then his band then all left the stage. There was a wait of about 25 minutes before one of the stage crew came on and said Morrissey had left the building, and that he was seriously ill. Everybody started booing, thinking “here we go again.” He has a bit of a poor track record for cancelling his concerts.’”
A statement on Morrissey’s website reads: “Morrissey is in stable condition after his collapse in Swindon Saturday night. Thanks go out to all his well wishers …”
We wish him a speedy recovery.
PerformanceKlok: Winter Pays For Summer
Written by John on October 24th, 2009Glen Phillips with Jonathan Kingham perform the song I wish I could live by, “Duck and Cover,” live in New York 2008.
For more on my man Glen, go to www.glenphillips.com and/or his official YouTube channel.
Top 5 incomprehensible songs that aren’t performed by Bob Dylan
Written by John on October 22nd, 2009
Not too long ago, we paid tribute to some of the lesser-known misheard lyrics. And while you could have an entire blog based on misinterpreting “excuse me while I kiss the sky” as “pardon me, but that gentleman requires me to press my lips upon his,” there are some artists who have made their fortunes thanks to or in spite of lyrics that are partly to severely incomprehensible.
1. “Orinoco Flow,” Enya
New Age founding mother Enya has built her career on trippy/haunting Celtic music in which she uses a lot of overdubbing and reverb. And while some of her other works are more muddled (“Caribbean Blue,” for example), nothing is more fun to try to sing along to than her seminal “Orinoco Flow.”
I can decipher some words. I think there’s a Bob Dickens in there somewhere, whoever he is. During the bridge, she appears to pay tribute to Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Brent Spiner when she repeats, “Data! Data!” Then there’s the cryptic lyric, “Touch Bellini in Tahiti on the Island of Vermouth.” Other times, I think she’s just doing some kind of Irish scatting.
2. “Yellow Ledbetter,” Pearl Jam
I find this song incredibly powerful and sad. This, despite the fact that I can’t understand one single word of what Eddie Vedder’s saying. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
3. “Brand New Day,” Sting
Whether he’s with The Police or going solo, there’s one thing you can count on: Sting always sings as if part of him got caught in his fly.
4. “Paranoid,” Black Sabbath
Before Ozzy Osbourne made a second career out of slurring heartfelt fatherly advice, he was equally incomprehensible as the prince of darkness.
5. “Fairytale of New York,” Kirsty MacColl & The Pogues
Again with the Irish! I know there are any number of songs by The Pogues that are made incomprehensible thanks to Shane MacGown’s growling, slurring vocals. But the ballad-ish nature of “Fairytale of New York” only seems to underscore the point when juxtaposed with Kirsty MacColl.
What music do you find incomprehensible?
YouTube to webcast concert by Cold War-era spy plane/Irish rock band
Written by John on October 21st, 2009
Internet video megalith YouTube will be broadcasting U2’s concert at California’s Rose Bowl Stadium live on Sunday. Based upon the promotional video, it appears to be a very understated affair.
Top 5 Clever Choices of Song During A Hockey Game
Written by John on October 19th, 2009Today’s Top 5 comes from frequent contributor Kate. It’s a great post, although some facts such as the existence of a state called “Florida” could not be verified as of press time. This is also a good time to mention that theFiver has an open submission policy, and anyone is welcome to e-mail a Top 5 list.
There are so many wonderful things about a hockey game. The sport itself is fast-paced and exciting, and the crowd tends to get quite involved and boisterous. Oftentimes the things that fans shout out during the game are entertainment in and of themselves. One of my favorites of all time actually belongs to our esteemed Fiver creator, who loudly heckled the Worcester Sharks thusly: “The City of Worcester has no viable economic plan!”
One aspect that might not necessarily be thought of as integral to a hockey game is the music that is used. Music can get us pumped up, encourage us, and make us laugh, all of which is part of the game. During my time in Tampa, I became a devoted Lightning fan (yes, there is hockey in Florida), and had the opportunity to observe through regular attendance how much fun the music chosen can be.
And so, to celebrate the beginning of hockey season, and the extra dimension that music can bring to the game, I present to you:
Top 5 Clever Choices of Song During A Hockey Game
1. “Yakety Sax,” Boots Randolph
There is nothing quite like hearing the theme to “The Benny Hill Show” as the opposing team skates onto the ice for warm-up. Priceless.
2. “Walking On Broken Glass,” Annie Lennox
What happens when two 230-pound men hit the boards simultaneously with momentum from skating across the ice? The glass above the boards shatters and falls out, that’s what. This is a song I would never expect to hear at a sporting event, but it worked quite well in this situation.
3. “Song from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless),” Johnny Mandel and Mike Altman
Hockey can be kind of like war, right? And those boys certainly need to be stitched up sometimes. So why not use this classic theme during the announcement of scratches and injuries?
4. “The Waiting,” Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
When a goal goes under review in an NHL game, the refs skate over to the sidelines and call the War Room in Toronto. So while the folks up there take another look at the play and hand down the verdict, the fans sit and … well, wait. It is, indeed, the hardest part. Except if you’re a Lightning fan, in which case the hardest part is hearing that Toronto has screwed you over again.
5. “Hook,” Blues Traveler
Oops! Someone got called for a hooking penalty. Now he’s got to go in the box, all by himself, for two minutes, and feel shame.
