Not long ago, Apple introduced a new version of its iTunes store. I’m sorry to say that I hate it. It’s messy, overly-busy, and places more emphasis on downloading Twilight than it does on music. One of the things iTunes had going for it was simplicity, but now I’m wondering if navigating bit torrent isn’t less of a hassle.

The iPod/iTunes impact on the music industry is well documented, as is how well Apple promoted its music venture. So, before I eschew the iTunes store in favor of illegal file sharing, let me meditate on what made me dig iTunes and Apple so much.

Top 5 songs used in iTunes commercials

1. “Bruises,” Chairlift

In promoting an iPod Nano available in an array of colors, Apple introduced Chairlift, a band that sounds as if it only recently emerged from the primordial New Wave ooze of the ’80s, although they formed only a few years ago.

2. “1234,” Feist
Apple helped to launch Feist’s career using her fantastic, one-take video for “1234.”

3. “Vertigo,” U2
An interesting variation on the iconic dancing sillohuette iPod commercial, this ad doubles as a promotional for U2’s 2004 album “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.” There was even a special edition red and black iPod available for a couple of years. U2 and Apple have since parted ways, with U2 choosing the Blackberry RIM as its digital music partner of choice, reportedly because the band got more creative input with RIM.

Still, that was one hell of a video … advertisement … whatever.

4. “Around The Bend,” The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
With a simplistic but rocking horn groove, raw percussion and bratty vocals, “Around The Bend,” by Danish pop group The Asteroids Galaxy Tour is an ultimate brain-off/party-on song.

5. “Cubicle,” Rinocerose
Is there such a genre as Corporate Electronica, and is that a bad thing? (Answers: “No” and “Yes.”) Still, Rinocerose’s “Cubicle” makes a good companion to a visually impressive ad.

Runners Up: “Someday Baby,” Bob Dylan; “Flathead,” The Fratellis; “Viva La Vida,” Coldplay.

Not too long ago, we paid tribute to some of the lesser-known misheard lyrics

1. “Orinoco Flow,” Enya
New Age founding mother Enya has built her career on trippy/haunting Celtic music in which she uses a lot of overdubbing and reverb. And while some of her other works are more muddled (“Caribbean Blue,” for example), nothing is more fun to try to sing along to than her seminal “Orinoco Flow.”

I can decipher some words. I think there’s a Bob Dickens in there somewhere, whoever he is. During the bridge, she appears to pay tribute to Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Brent Spiner when she repeats, “Data! Data!” Then there’s the cryptic lyric, “Touch Bellini in Tahiti on the Island of Vermouth.” Other times, I think she’s just doing some kind of Irish scatting.

2. “Yellow Ledbetter,” Pearl Jam
I find this song incredibly powerful and sad. This, despite the fact that I can’t understand one single word of what Eddie Vedder’s saying. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

3. “Brand New Day,” Sting
Whether he’s with The Police or going solo, there’s one thing you can count on: Sting always sings as if part of him got caught in his fly.

4. “Paranoid,” Black Sabbath
Before Ozzy Osbourne made a second career out of slurring heartfelt fatherly advice, he was equally incomprehensible as the prince of darkness.

5. “Fairytale of New York,” Kirsty MacColl & The Pogues
Again with the Irish! I know there are any number of songs by The Pogues that are made incomprehensible thanks to Shane MacGown’s growling, slurring vocals. But the ballad-ish nature of “Fairytale of New York” only seems to underscore the point when juxtaposed with Kirsty MacColl.

Huh?

What music do you find incomprehensible?

Autumn. Here, in the Northeast, it is a time where the air seems crisper and cleaner, the trees practically explode with fall colors, and it’s our last chance to enjoy the outdoors before Old Man Winter lays his icy, bastard hands on us. I hate that guy.

Autumn is also the time of year where we celebrate the harvest with local fall fairs, steeped in history. For example, that delicious root beer you get at the fair, right from the barrel? That harkens back to the days of puritans, who would drown heretics and witches in their version of the tasty beverage.

And what about all those apples? Well, early colonists would often barter with the natives using apples as currency or, if the local tribe refused to trade, that Red Delicious would make a handy projectile.

What fair is complete without the oxen pulls, wherein beasts of burden drag weights under their master’s whip? You can trace that sport back to the early American farmer’s obsession with sadomasochism, as the the whip was an integral part of any sexual humiliation and the cry of “oxen-free!” often resonated throughout the rafters of the barn, as that was the preferred safe word of the time.

This is, of course, all bull. I hope. As of this writing, I’m getting ready to attend the Fryeburg Fair, one of the most popular fairs in New England. And to get me in the mood, I’ve compiled the following Top 5 songs for the fair:

1. “Going to the Country,” Steve Miller

Going to the Country.wma – Steve Miller Band

2. “Soulful Shade of Blue,” Neko Case

Soulful Shade Of Blue – Neko Case

3. “Cluck Old Hen,” Alison Krauss & Union Station

Cluck Old Hen – Alison Krauss

4. “Dance Tonight,” Paul McCartney

Dance Tonight – Paul McCartney

5. “Honeyed Out,” Kris Delmhorst

Honeyed Out – Kris Delmhorst

Runners Up: “Shine” (Cover), Dolly Parton; “Girl from the North Country,” Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash; “100 Miles to Charleston,” Martha’s Trouble.

Have you been to a local fair lately, no matter how sick or demented your reason? Share …

It’s hard to describe just why The Big Lebowski inspires Achievers (fans) to watch the film time and time and time again. Is it the brilliant, profanity-laced dialogue? Is it the strange homage to Raymond Chandler, or the memorable characters who seem to live in their own reality? Is it all the bowling? I tend to think it’s because every scene in Lebowski is incredibly funny, “parts, anyway.” For a better analysis, check out A.O. Scott’s take.

The Big Lebowski may have thudded on its initial theatrical release, but has since garnered a cult following that only seems to grow, complete with conventions and legions of fans spewing Lebowski quotes like a second language. (Being intimately familiar with the film’s dialogue is practically a prerequisite for holding a conversation with me, as nearly half of my own speech patterns are lifted directly from The Big Lebowski. It’s like that episode of Star Trek where the aliens only talk through metaphors, and Picard has to figure out just what the hell “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” means before Riker gets the Enterprise blown up.)

Like many of the Coen Brothers’ other films, Lebowski owes its great soundtrack largely to T-Bone Burnett, who is able to sniff out fantastic and obscure music. To true Achievers (and proud we are of all of them), it’s difficult to separate in one’s mind the music from the movie. Can we ever hear any Eagles song without spurting, “I hate the fucking Eagles!” Can we ever hear “I Am The Walrus” without thinking of Steve Buscemi? In that spirit, and in the parlance of our times, theFiver proudly presents the Top 5 8 songs fromThe Big Lebowski:

1. “Tumbling Tumbleweeds,” Sons of the Pioneers
This oat ballad introduces the film, as the camera follows a tumbleweed from the desert to Los Angeles, where we find main character, The Dude (Jeff Bridges), using a personal check to purchase a carton of milk.

2. “The Man In Me,” Bob Dylan
Slightly dopey and relaxed this obscure Dylan tune best exemplifies The Dude’s style. It is used for the opening credit montage, as well as the film’s first dream sequence as The Dude follows the bohemian Maude Lebowski, who is riding atop a flying carpet (i.e., The Dude’s rug which, as we know, really tied the room together).

3. “Requiem in D Minor,” Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Played as The Big Lebowski stares dramatically into the great fireplace, where he thickly lays on the drama thickly over the alleged kidnapping of his wife, Bunny, to a seemingly oblivious Dude. (This scene was reproduced nearly shot for shot in an episode of The Powerpuff Girls.) Strong men also cry.

4. “Hotel California,” The Gipsy Kings
A mariachi take on The Eagles’ standard, it is used to introduce the memorable Jesus Quintana, a pederast, bowler and The Dude’s antagonist. Jesus is a relatively minor character, but as portrayed by John Turturro, he’s larger than life. That creep can roll.

5. “Run Through the Jungle”/”Lookin’ Out My Back Door,” Creedence Clearwater Revival
Creedence, along with Dylan and whale songs, appears to be The Dude’s music of choice. “Jungle” is aptly played during a botched hand-off – one wonders if Walter (The Dude’s close friend and veteran) still believes he’s in Vietnam as he tries to pass off a bag of dirty underwear as the million dollar briefcase. On the other side of the Creedence spectrum is “Back Door.” The Dude seems in an excellent mood as this is playing in his car, only to be interrupted by the presence of a suspicious Volkswagen Beetle, a lit joint he drops into his crotch, and the homework of one Larry Sellers.

6. “Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In),” Kenny Rogers & The First Edition
If it hadn’t been for “The Big Lebowski,” Kenny Rogers would likely be only known as the country legend who knows when to hold ‘em, fold ‘em, etc. Would we ever remember his attempts at psychedelic rock early in his career? This is the song for its time and place in the film, providing the soundtrack to a drug-induced dream sequence featuring bowling, a Valkyrie, Saddam Hussein and a tool belt.

7. “Theme to ‘Branded,’” Dominic Frontiere and Alan Alch.
Mumbled by The Dude after he is picked up by the cops but before he is interrogated by the facist chief of Malibu police – also, “Branded, especially the early episodes, was a source of inspiration” to Walter.

8. “Dead Flowers,” Townes van Zandt
This country-infused live Rolling Stones cover stands out because its inherent sadness matches the feel of the film’s denouement. It’s heavy stuff, rarely seen in Lebowski, yet it fits right in.

Lebowski

Runners Up: “Muchas Muchachas,” Juan Garcia Esquivel, used to introduce the Big Lebowski’s young trophy wife (I just gotta find a cash machine …); “Oye Como Va,” written by Tito Puente and performed by Sanata, evocative of the In And Out Burger; “Ataypura,” Yma Sumac, perfect for any gathering at Jackie Treehorn’s; ”Peaceful Easy Feeling,” The Eagles, played in the cab of an angry black man; “Viva Las Vegas,” Big Johnson/Shawn Colvin, Bunny Lebowski’s homecoming anthem – Colvin’s version plays during the end credits.

Greg Richling, left, and Jakob Dylan of The Wallflowers Saturday in Freeport

The Wallflowers brought down the horse, uh, house Saturday. The Jakob Dylan-fronted band performed a free show at LL Bean’s flagship store in Freeport, Maine as part of the store’s continuing free concert series.

Kate and me attended, despite having spent the previous nine hours getting heat stroke at the Maine Highland Games. The grunts and howls of sweaty men in kilts throwing rocks, however, were preferable to the opening band. Let’s just say this band seemed to want to be uber-em versions of the Killers or the Cure, but whose actual sound is closer to what is emitted when you step on a cat. If you’re going to emulate anyone, just do it on-key.

The Wallflowers, by contrast, seemed understated, but that only worked to their advantage. They came off like the genuine thing, mixing newer material with plenty of crowd favorites. The Wallflowers played well, sang well, and didn’t need to put on airs to do so.

The Wallflowers perform Josephine

I decided to make this post part of an exercise in live micro-blogging. So enjoy the following Twitter composite (with all spelling and grammatical errors lovingly intact) that you probably ought to read from the bottom to top, unless you have something against chronology.

[Between sets L.L. Bean showed vintage cartoon shorts, but without any sound. We had to fill in the pieces as best we could, but the result was nevertheless akin to Garfield Minus Garfield.]

1. “Most of the Time,” Bob Dylan
Dylan has released a more uptempo version that sounds more like his earlier works, but for this list we’re referring to the version off the High Fidelity soundtrack. With one of the saddest bass lines this side of “The Only Living Boy In New York,” it’s as dreary as the overcast skies.

2. “Runaway,” Del Shannon
It’s fun, but it’s got an edge. Lines like “I’m a-walkin’ in the rain/tears are fallin’ and I feel the pain” offer an interesting contrast to what could have been just another oldies novelty song.

3. “November Rain,” Guns N’ Roses
A romantic, if drizzly, ballad gives way to a storm of emotion somewhere around the 7-minute mark.

4. “Raining In Baltimore,” Counting Crows
Even without the lyrics, the dirge-like piano evokes nothing but the rain.

5. “Battleflag “(Lo-Fidelity Allstars Remix),” Pigeonhed
Why sit inside and mope when you can run around in the rain, reenacting a scene from the shitty Sandra Bullock/Ben Affleck romantic comedy “Forces of Nature”?

Top 5 tunes for a rainy night

Runners up: “Lightning Crashes,” Live; “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad,” Meat Loaf; “All Good Things,” The Weepies; “6th Avenue Heartache,” The Wallflowers; “Wish You Were Here,” Pink Floyd. Not even close: “I’m Only Happy When It Rains,” Garbage; “I Love A Rainy Night,” Eddie Rabbitt.

What tunes should rain down on you?