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Top 5 incomprehensible songs that aren’t performed by Bob Dylan

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

19592Not too long ago, we paid tribute to some of the lesser-known misheard lyrics. And while you could have an entire blog based on misinterpreting “excuse me while I kiss the sky” as “pardon me, but that gentleman requires me to press my lips upon his,” there are some artists who have made their fortunes thanks to or in spite of lyrics that are partly to severely incomprehensible.

1. “Orinoco Flow,” Enya
New Age founding mother Enya has built her career on trippy/haunting Celtic music in which she uses a lot of overdubbing and reverb. And while some of her other works are more muddled (“Caribbean Blue,” for example), nothing is more fun to try to sing along to than her seminal “Orinoco Flow.”

I can decipher some words. I think there’s a Bob Dickens in there somewhere, whoever he is. During the bridge, she appears to pay tribute to Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Brent Spiner when she repeats, “Data! Data!” Then there’s the cryptic lyric, “Touch Bellini in Tahiti on the Island of Vermouth.” Other times, I think she’s just doing some kind of Irish scatting.

2. “Yellow Ledbetter,” Pearl Jam
I find this song incredibly powerful and sad. This, despite the fact that I can’t understand one single word of what Eddie Vedder’s saying. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

3. “Brand New Day,” Sting
Whether he’s with The Police or going solo, there’s one thing you can count on: Sting always sings as if part of him got caught in his fly.

4. “Paranoid,” Black Sabbath
Before Ozzy Osbourne made a second career out of slurring heartfelt fatherly advice, he was equally incomprehensible as the prince of darkness.

5. “Fairytale of New York,” Kirsty MacColl & The Pogues
Again with the Irish! I know there are any number of songs by The Pogues that are made incomprehensible thanks to Shane MacGown’s growling, slurring vocals. But the ballad-ish nature of “Fairytale of New York” only seems to underscore the point when juxtaposed with Kirsty MacColl.

Huh?

What music do you find incomprehensible?

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Posted in Top 5 | 5 Responses »
Tags: Black Sabbath, Bob Dylan, Enya, Kirsty MacColl, Pearl Jam, Sting, The Pogues, The Police

Top 5 “what the hell were they thinking?!” moments on Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

disc

Rolling Stone has listed what it claims are “The 100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time.” Rather than come up with the definitive list, however, the article simply fans the flames of a long-running debate.

Many music critics would say that sound and inventiveness trumps technique and skill.  Serious musicians could counter that even if you stun listeners across the nation with your songs, it doesn’t mean your playing is any good, never mind sophisticated.

The RS list appears to lean toward the former argument. That’s fine, but in reading its list, one can’t help but feel mislead. If they called this list “100 Great Artists Whose Guitar Is Their Primary Instrument,” then, yeah, you could get behind that. But to give props to Soundgarden’s Kim Thayil because he used dropped-D tuning, but exclude technically superior musicians like Eric Johnson and Alex Lifeson … that just seems wrong.

One thing is for certain; Rolling Stone’s list leaves a lot of head-scratching.

Top 5 “what the hell were they thinking?!” moments on Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time:


1. Eric Clapton

clapton

No. Sorry. He’s not the fourth greatest guitarist of all time. I’m not even sure if he’s the fortieth. Yes, he’s incredibly popular; yes, he’s been around for a bit; yes, he deserves a huge thanks for giving the blues a British renaissance; and yes, the baby boomers love him. But as my old guitar teacher once said, any kid on the street corner can play his licks. The pentatonic scale is just not that hard. If he’s “God,” then my dad’s God … and he’s not.

2. Kurt Cobain

cobain


Cobain helped to give the music industry an enema just when its hair band-impacted bowels needed it, and we’re all better off for that. But Cobain was not that great of a guitarist, he just wasn’t it. If you need to recognize a guitarist representing the early ’90s alternative/grunge music, why not Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready?

3. Johnny Ramone

Ramone


Punk is a good and almost necessary form of music. But its very nature shuns the technical know-how of its contemporaries such as prog-rock. The Ramones is New York punk through and through, but you didn’t go to CBGB to hear an exercise on symmetrical augmented scales.

4. Keith Richards

KeithRichards


One of the most overrated guitarists from the world’s biggest overrated band. The Rolling Stones did not do much to innovate. They came along at the right time, tweaking the Beatles sound with a bit more sex and drugs, and most of them had the good fortune to stick together and not die. Richards is a decent guitarist, but he’s not one of the all-time greatest.

5. Neil Young

young


As a singer-song writer, he’s fine. But like Cobain, he’s simply not that great of a guitarist. If you want to talk musicianship with a flair for songwriting, give me Paul Simon any day of the week.

Runners up: George Harrison (#21); The Edge (#24); Ron Asheton (#29); Tom Morello (#26); John Fogerty (#40); Clarence White (#41); Joni Mitchell (#72); Joan Jett (#87).

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Posted in Top 5 | 3 Responses »
Tags: Alex Lifeson, CBGB, Clarence White, Cream, Credence Clearwater Revival, Derek and the Dominos, Eric Clapton, Eric Johnson, George Harrison, Joan Jett, John Fogerty, Johnny Ramone, Jonie Mitchell, Keith Richards, Kim Thayil, Kurt Cobain, Mike McCready, Neil Young, Nirvana, Paul Simon, Pearl Jam, Rage Against The Machine, Rolling Stone, Rolling Stones, Ron Asheton, Rush, Soundgarden, The Beatles, The Byrds, The Edge, The Ramones, Tom Morello, U2, Yardbirds

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